Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
