So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need a beard to bite.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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