it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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