Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
