i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
