If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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