whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
