We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
