Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
