none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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