Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
