I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
