Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
