I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
