Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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