She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
