we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
