You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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