I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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