I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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