i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
