Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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