yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
