We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
As shirtless as possible
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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