i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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