he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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