So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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