Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
