So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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