WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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