your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
