And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
