Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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