My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
