oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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