I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
