chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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