just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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