They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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