how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
