I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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