Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
