I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
