Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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