She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
