Non-Jews are for practice
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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