If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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