how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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