Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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