whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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