I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
