She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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