with your own penis?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
